Mother's Day Grey

I don't want to be a mom on Mother's Day, because I, and many other mothers included, know that the title never shifts, but simply becomes more important... for just a single day out of the whole earthly year... 

and I think that's rather unfair. 

I don't want to be a mom on Mother's Day, because singling out just one day takes a stab at who I am in every day previous. 

I don't want to be a mom on Mother's Day, because I am never anything but. 

I don't want to be a mom because wanting means needing more, and I already have everything I need in the present. I don't want, because I already am. 

...Had you in the first half, didn't I?

Now, I just want to clarify for those of you who love this holiday that, yes, gifts are nice, flowers are nice, appreciating the woman who raised you, and being appreciated back by the generation that has followed after you've become a mother... 

it's all NICE...

but if I'm honest, I'd prefer tranquility over any other plans - if I'm to celebrate as I so choose (sorry Dad).

I don't need a day to recognize me. 

I'd rather live the day out as I have been, because simply...

...I adore my children. I love them with every fiber of my being- so much so that those fibers engulf me to the point where I'm unsure of who I was before their existence...

...and that's okay. It's an internal struggle, but it's a beautiful one.

I get to rediscover myself on top of raising children, and more importantly, I am able to expand who I used to be because they were gifted into my life. 

I am stronger, wiser, and more patient. I try my best to be a mother my sons can come to about their problems and curiosities, while simultaneously becoming successful as an individual; shaping myself into someone they'll be proud of. 

So yes, maybe it's weird that I want to do nothing special for Mother's Day because, after all, it's celebrated just once a year...

...but for the other 364 days, there's no lack of motherhood duties and the reality they entail, so, I want nothing more than to do as I've always done because...

...Mother's Day makes me feel grateful to be a mother, and I want to recognize that within each day; to be grateful still.

It's a day to celebrate me, yet, writing this now on the day that is Mother's Day, I feel an overwhelming joy at my children's existence: they remain the focus of my attention.  

To my children, 

thank you for being in my life...

...although we have days of chaos and confusion, we too have days of laughter, happiness, and overflowing love. I'm so proud of who you are and who you have yet to become. I look forward to seeing you grow and to watch as you break from me to follow your dreams. Whatever they entail, I will be here to support you. 

So, although this is supposed to be my holiday, I want to thank you instead...

...for shaping the woman I am today and for shaping the woman I will be,

I love you, my children, 

Happy Mother's Day